When’s the last time you got a surprise from someone, or from life itself? And I do mean in the good kind. Can’t remember? Ready to change that? Well, then it’s time to invite some surprise into your life.
Because the truth is that often, for all our talk of wanting more of this or a different that, we tend to travel the same well-worn paths over and over. We “soldier on”, acting out habits that have grown stale. And those habits can include putting off casual daydreams—or rich fantasies—of adventure or change. Instead, we stay in our well-worn lanes.
We tend to travel the same well-worn paths over and over, acting out habits that may have grown stale.
Change may not be the most natural thing
Basically, we humans fear change. There’s often no real reason why not to make one. Besides our natural fears, it’s just that we’ve perhaps always lived the way we’re living. Or it’s how we’ve watched the folks around us “do life.” Besides, our routines are comforting, right? They work.
Or do they? Hmmm. Maybe the truth is somewhere between yes and no.
First, some truth from me to you: there was a time when I regularly asked myself why life coaching? Because, honestly, I cringed at the term. Despite my passion for the profession, I tap-danced all around that particular phrase when describing what I feel privileged to do. It was funny, really. Life coaching just felt cliché somehow.
But then one intense day, a very special lady in my life, my elderly mother, unexpectedly ended all that. She got down to the essence of things the way moms do, saying, “Why beat around the bush? You’re a life coach.”
Great big wave of her little hand. Great big emphasis on life while—more truth here—at the end of her own. So, instead of feeling annoyed by her opinion, it was instant goose-bump city for me. Then I surprised myself with a wave of energy that I used to re-frame the work that I love.
So what is life coaching, really?
A few weeks ago I happened onto an insightful article about coaching. The author provided short definitions for different types. But her take on life coaching felt narrow to me. She described it as being about personal change, with niches within it like youth, addiction, and divorce.
Of course that’s all good. Just not quite integrative enough in my book. Instead, I see life coaching as a powerful context in which to support the growth and goals of committed clients. It’s a much broader context than just the “personal”, whatever that actually means.
For me, life coaching is an opportunity to develop the whole person who we each are, toward maximum effectiveness and fulfillment. Here’s more of what I mean:
As a busy life coach always working to keep my own head on straight, the well-validated work of Dr. Joe Dispenza inspires and energizes me big-time. In fact, I say he’s doing some of the most important teaching on the planet these days. It’s changing me and my work with my coaching clients.
So while encouraging my clients to read his books, download his meditations, and more, I also wrote Part 1 of my own introduction to his work. Then I let Part 2 steep a bit while diving deep into his concepts and methods. My goal here is boil all that down to what’s most essential for you to get in this transformative personal power game! If you’re brand new to him, I encourage you to start with Part 1, then meet me back here.
Now, as you read on, truly give yourself permission to hang in here with me. This work requires a new kind of mental discipline. You can put a toe in that world by experimenting with real focus and attention here. Seriously. Consider it a playful challenge from me to beautiful you.
First a recap: what does “you are the placebo” mean?
The fact that the placebo effect happens to some humans means we can learn to use it.
The placebo effect occurs because we—our hearts and minds and beliefs—are that powerful. Though maybe not naturally. Maybe not without steady work and real changes to beliefs and habits. To patterns and resulting cycles in our lives.
In fact, I regard Dr. Dispenza’s work so highly because he has mastered the how of this effect. How to apply it in our own lives. I’d say the “how” of personal transformation is his super-power. And he wants all of us in on the transformative action.
We all experience challenging, painful, even heartbreaking moments. They’ve been part of life’s journey since, well, forever.
Cut to these days, and we’re all increasingly connected through our smart devices. Indeed, besides whatever complexities we may be managing, troubling news and even horrific developments can come at us 24 and 7. And at times, they do.
It’s a constant onslaught to process. To feel our way through, in ways that can drain us energetically.
So consider this potential energy conservation method: In the midst of everything we can’t control, the ancient discipline of non-judgment can aid us. It can soothe us. Then we can pass some peace forward.
First, limit the onslaught. Really.
My dear friend Kim, an amazing attorney and child advocate, doesn’t “do the news.” She’s disciplined about it. Her determination to live and work in a radically calm zone allows her to stay healthy for her own intense work in the world. For her unique contribution.
And of course Kim’s approach works for her. For her life and work.
The truth is, we each have to find our own threshold for taking in tragic, terrible—even terrifying—news. If we stick with default mode in these wired times, any and all troubling developments immediately arrive as notifications in our lives.
The good news is that there’s middle ground between disconnected and hyper-connected. These days, choosing our place along that continuum requires conscious decision-making, and discipline.