All work and no play makes… well, you know. But still, if you’re highly goal-oriented, I’ll bet you routinely notice all the big and small inner and outer obstacles that pop right up when you think about taking some real time for play time. And this wired-to-work life coach can relate! So let’s go there. I want to let you in on what I’ve learned about the importance of play.
Really get your head in the playing game
First, let me be clear. When I say play, I mean real time out, not just sorta kinda pausing work mode. Instead, this is time to really turn your focus to having fun, fooling around, lolling around, adventuring, whatever you’re feeling, except working. This is step-away-and-come-back-refreshed time. For real.
Yes, this kind of play time is really, truly free of deadlines and devices, free from any and all projects. Free from still being in it and at it no matter what you’re doing or not doing.
Full disclosure, this isn’t the most natural thing in the world for me either. I adore all my projects and devices! And I’m also crystal clear that rejuvenation through play is important for all of us.
I’m excited to roll out my new Live Your Dream for Realpodcast, episode 1. In fact, it represents me living my dream. :)
I don’t know where this is going
First, know this: I believe coaching others is an inherently creative act. So I’m stepping on into the unknown here, with this blank canvas. The truth is, I’m starting this new endeavor not knowing exactly where it’s going every step of the way from here. I don’t have the grand scheme all worked out!
And more, I say this is relevant to coaching others to live their dreams. Relevant in the realm of meaning and satisfaction in adult life, work, and relationships. Including our relationship to self. Our relationship to life.
The value of not knowing
Not knowing exactly where I’ll go from here, or how it will all turn out, is relevant to situations or seasons in which good people may be dealing with what I’ll call a crisis of meaning. Where on the outside things may be coming along beautifully, but something’s missing. There’s an emptiness to it.
Maybe what’s missing are all our most secret, sacred goals. The ones we’re quietly dreaming of, but not living.
The unknown can renew us
As a bit more foundation, I’ll share with you that my personal work, as an individual woman, is to continue to follow what I call the river of my own life and creative process. Wherever it leads me.
So that season by season, year by year, decade by decade, I am growing. I’m developing parts of myself that I haven’t known yet. And in the process, I’m constantly renewed by the fact that at least part of my creative process is always on into the unknown.
And I mean in both the outer world and in my inner world. As I develop parts of myself that I don’t know yet, skills that I don’t have yet, I refresh myself. Neurologically. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. It’s all good.
Toward expanding, not folding in
In truth, life may often seem to encourage us to gradually fold in. To tuck in. To risk and express less and less. Instead, living on into a continuing fullness that being in the unknown brings to our lives, well, that’s the quality of life I’m looking for.
Indeed, I say this is good for us humans living in the wild, wonderful 21st century. We’re truly blessed with so much opportunity to keep growing through the lives we lead.
Now, with these thoughts under your belt, jump on in and enjoy Live Your Dream for Real, episode 1. And please, send me your questions here!
I happened onto the hashtag #selflove on Twitter one night, and I was curious about how it was being used. So I checked out the definition someone had given it on tagdef.com.
Could have several empowering meanings, but is often used as a politically correct term for solo masturbation.
Basically, I’m not buyin’ it
Interesting, and maybe useful to some. But a waste of a beautiful phrase in my view. And honestly, it confused me a bit. Just not at all what I expected. So I looked up self-love on dictionary.com. Check out this bummer of a definition:
Chronic conflict can sap your strength. It can really mess up your life. Maybe you know just what I mean: the searingly painful kind, when every attempt to communicate ends in anger, sadness, and feelings of failure. Ugh.
The fact is, this kind of recurring bad dream is oh, so human. What to do? Let’s go there.
1. Begin with you.
Yes. You. The bottom line is that when it comes to chronic conflict—and much else in life—this is the only place where you have control. There isn’t a thing you can do about someone else’s actions and reactions. But there is an upside to that downside. You can work very effectively with your part in any challenging situation.
Now, think about these questions with your situation in mind:
What’s your goal for the communication? What are the potential land mines? What are the potential opportunities?
2. Create a constructive point of view.
Next, while considering all that, set aside your judgments, all the yada yada yada about the other person. Really. And yes, all your reasons not to will rear up here like ghosts from a grave. It’s human.
Yet this is something we can do to get beyond conflict. We can—because our goals matter—begin to handle chronic issues in new ways. Like working within our own new, non-negotiable commitments to ourselves.
For example, let’s say two ex-spouses can’t communicate without battling, and their kids are caught in the crossfire. Ouch. Right? And oh, so human.