Because the dance of love and relationship really is like nothing else. Love really is a helluva drug. There’s nothing more mysterious than love. Nothing more maddening. Nothing that’s ultimately more of a secret.
I first wrote about darkness after the November 2015 Paris attacks. Then I updated it in November 2018 after the tragedy just down the road in Thousand Oaks, California, and again after the Christchurch, New Zealand mosque shootings.
Horror can sap our strength
When we’re confronted with dark events, dark forces, even horrific experiences and images, it’s natural to be blindsided. We don’t ever quite grow numb to it. And it’s easy to fixate. To lose focus. To lose energy and heart.
We can lose the vision of our way forward. We can lose the energy for anything. Our peace of mind, even our beliefs, shattered. Again.
Challenge and the way forward
In times of terrible trial, consider that your shattered focus is help that you don’t have to wait for. This challenge to your battered heart is the way forward. As one world leader said during a dark time in the 20th Century:
If you’re going through hell, keep going. — Sir Winston Churchill
This guidance is right on in the fires of fear, pain, and the loss of simple human happiness. Loss of confidence in the next day or week or season for ourselves and our fellow humans.
I’m reflecting on a setback I’m having right… now. And after a good day yesterday! A phone session with an inspiring new client, a great meeting with my own coach, lessons with two super-fun students, a hug from their sweet mom. Poker Night with two of my sons and their ladies. Then, boom. Grief storm. I cried off and on all night.
And yet I also know everything is OK. It’s just a natural expression of the yin and yang of all things, including grieving.
Everything really is OK
So now I’m writing my way through this particular neck of dark woods while listening to Pandora’s “Rain Radio.” I played it for my mom all night right before she died. Now it’s one way of keeping her near me.
And I’m feeling the inner roller coaster ride of these two months since her death. I’m seeking guidance, too, as always. But in new ways. And I’m connecting with her, or at least trying to. Hoping I’m succeeding. Not sure yet.
But just after I got back to L.A., I had a beautiful dream of her striding out of the rubble of a fallen building like an action-adventure star, young and strong, with flaming red hair, in a bronze raincoat. And a dream of getting out of bed early one morning to sit in lotus pose to meditate.
What do you believe, anyway? About life? About love? And work? How about money? And kickass contribution to life? And how about growth past midlife? These are in fact the questions, right? I’m here to tell you that you can dare to examine—and then change—your beliefs as one part of your approach to accomplishing your goals.
Yes, as a life coach who cares, I know this truth can truly alter the course of your life, what’s possible for you. Because consciousnessof your beliefs, of what drives you, and stops you, is in fact an incredibly powerful creative act! You can dare to examine your beliefs. Question them. And make choices that transform your life.